Power struggles have been my life the last three days with a certain 3 1/2 year old. I am not sure what has gotten into him, but it is wearing me out.
There has been many crying, screaming, hitting, etc. sessions with this boy of mine. Some of those things he was doing and some of them I was doing. :) I promise you don't need to call CPS, but it has been hard to keep my patience.
Sometimes I get so frustrated because nothing seems to work to get him to listen and obey. I feel like I have tried many things... talking to him, giving him choices, having a fun FHE about listening and obeying, time outs, alone time, ignoring him, etc.
I just received a little bit of hope reading through a random person's blog. They were talking about their teenager and what a sweet person she has become. But that wasn't always the case. I guess she was a very difficult toddler and child. The writer of the blog commented that she feels like the strongest personalities are being sent to the earth, she referred to them as "powerhouses." She continued to say that she felt when they get older and learn how to handle their strong spirits, you will be amazed by who they become. I am going to hold onto that hope and advice for now and pray that it is the case for my child. Because at this point, I am not sure how to handle it.
Any advice? Please share!!!
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15 comments:
I like that idea! I am raising 3 powerhouses!! And I have always been told that. Every time a more experienced mother watches me try to handle mine, they always laugh and say "right now they are driving you crazy, but when they are strong,smart,determined adults, you will be so proud!" I guess!!!
All I know, is watch out world, because there are A LOT of little powerhouses coming our way!!!
Hang in there! By what I'm told, it does get better!
when i think back on the tantrums and craziness i pulled when i was little, i'm so embarassed, and wonder how my mom handled it. but she did handle it, and she even survived.
you're a good mom, i'm sure you will figure out all the little tricks you need to in order to put fits to an end.
maybe tell him if he isn't good he wont get to see his aunt anitra again it'll work (c:
My little powerhouse gave me another big test this evening.
Anitra, that would make Luke so sad if he couldn't see his Aunt Anitra again. I will have to try it. :)
you're a good mom, jess.
Power struggles with a "powerhouse"...no fun at all. I think it is especially hard when the kid is smart and is trying to think for himself. I remember when his dad was little, and I would send him to his room for being naughty. He would lie on the floor with his body inside the room and his head in the hall, just to prove he was complying outwardly but refused to yield his independence mentally. There is hope for Luke. Look at how his daddy turned out!
I completely agree with the "powerhouse" statement, and when I truly sit and reflect on what our kids are going to have to deal with as teenagers (just watch MTV for like 15 minutes and you'll see a small glimpse), I am grateful that they are so stubborn. They are going to have to be!
Yeah, you have a Hutchings kid, that's for sure. So hard... I hate that stage where they are really testing you to see who is in charge and whether or not they really have to do what you say. The only thing that helps when my kids are acting out is just being consistant with consequences - you do A, then you get consequence A, every single time, for nine hundred years. It sounds like you are already doing that. Hang in there!!!!
I know it is hard having these tug of wars with the kids. They are so strong willed and won't back down. As I was commenting, I had to stop to chase Kyle, who had run out the front door and was making his way up the street. When I got outside, I just watched him because he was barefoot and I was sure he would stop soon. Ummm, NO. He made it 4 houses before I started chasing after him. Oh, the joys of having a toddler boy.
Okay, so I don't have any advice since I've never had a 3 year old, but I know my mom wanted to give me away after I turned two and said she continued feeling that way until I was about 16, so at least you know you're not the only one! I'm a little emotionally scarred from my mom telling me that, however! j/k! Yeah, so were you the one crying or screaming? :)
Hey Jess, it's Allyson--I think you said you do the ticket thing for Luke...or was it something else, I don't remember, but my sister has a jar she puts marbles in and takes marbles out of depending on the good or bad behavior and when all of the marbles are in, there is a reward. She said it's nice for the kids to see a visual--jar filling up or emptying out. I do the sticker chart for Evie and sometimes she cares and other times she doesn't, so I guess it just depends on what their little stubborn minds are thinking, and how defiant or angelic they are feeling. Good luck! You really are a great mom...and if nothing else, I think military schools take kids quite young these days--J/K :).
Thanks to everyone for your comments, ideas, and support. Today has been a pretty tame day for which I am very grateful! We made it through target without any major problems! PHewww!!
Allyson-Kevin jokingly suggested military school last night after a major episode.
Kerry-the answer to your question is both. Moments of screaming and then the crying came from frustration and not knowing what to do. Luke didn't see me cry, he just had the pleasure of listening to me scream.
I have no advice, but I'll be sure to be reading all the comments because maybe I'll learn something. I'm having a similar problem to you! Oh the joy of kids!! However, I do think you are right with the strong coming. I think there will be a need for all these strong kids. It makes me proud of my kids, and nervous for them all at the same time!
Hmmm, I have not had to go through this stage to its full extent yet, but the only thing that got me through it when I babysat kids in the midst of these stages was ignoring them. Hard to do sometimes, and probably not always a viable option, but it's the only help I've got... and it may not be that helpful. SORRY!
One thought I have on these power struggles is to remember what you did when you were teaching. We get so emotionally involved when we are in conflict with out own child, but the same techniques that worked in the classroom ought to work at home. Would it help to just step back emotionally in those moments and think of Luke as a student (which he is)?
We are still having some issues and I am going to try all the advice that has been given. One of these things has got to work. It has been a little easier this weekend having Kevin home to help put out some of the fires. He is usually more patient than I am.
Thanks again for listening to me rant and then being so helpful and kind.
You all are the BEST!
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